Joshua Tree will always have a special place in my heart. It was the first camping trip I took after the end of a 5-year relationship---heartbreaking. Before, my camping experiences were always with large groups of friends and something I always associated with my ex .After all, he was the person I first started camping with almost 4 years ago. But this was the start of camping with just Miya, who I will always appreciate for tagging along on my crazy, last-minute trips. Together, we experienced so many amazing moments and adventures. It was one of those "two girls against the world" sort of thing, ya know what I mean? Since that time, I've been to Zion, Havasupai, New Zealand, Iceland, Taiwan, Portland, Yosemite, and so many other countless adventures -- almost too many to list!
But that first trip, that first trip in Joshua Tree was something special. It was a quiet one with a lot of time for reflection. I don't think I even took star photos (something that I usually love). I remember just staring at the milkyway and feeling tired and feeling like I will never be fine but still had to prove to myself that I was fine -- everything I did before with him, I can do now by myself. I felt like I lost a huge portion of my friends and felt lonely and in a hurry to focus on myself and better myself. I didn't want to leave any time to dwell.
When I first got into camping and outdoor life, I remember my boss telling me, "Nature is beautiful, but it can also kill you." Joshua Tree was the first time in my life that I lost my way. Miya and I were both very careful to not freak out during our misdaventures in the desert - but man, I was definitely panicking. We look back and laugh about the experience, but it was so scary at the time to be walking around in the desert not being able to recognize ANYTHING in sight. All of this because we had made a slight right instead of straight! It was like, "REALLY?! The first time we travel together and we get lost?! Are we going to die? Holy crap!"
It was the the first (of many) lessons I learned outdoors on my long journey of numerous lessons I had yet to learn that year. It was such an interesting time and looking back, I can see how some of my friends were concerned about the many trips I was going on. But I think everyone has their own way of getting past hardship. For me, every camping trip I took was another marker on the road to recovery. It went from forcing myself to be okay, to just genuinely enjoying the beauty that the world has given us. Part of it has to do with feeling so small in the vastness of nature. You feel like you can be so insignificant, but also that there are so many new opportunities (for friends, love, connections) out there in this big, crazy world.
Fast forward to December: Miya & I went back to Joshua Tree with our new S/Os. It was a gentle reminder that time will really heal all wounds. No matter how hurt you feel, it will get better. Just take it a day at a time and one day, you'll look back and see how much progress you've made and more importantly, how happy you can be!
Without further ado, here is a photo dump of Joshua Tree from both times I was there :) I wonder if you can guess which time is which?!
